So Comikaze was friggin awesome, and let me tell you why.
My friends and I wanted to get autographs from Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flanery today. Norman’s line was pretty long, so we decided to say hi to Sean first. My friend Jeana had actually asked him to sign her poster earlier, but we decided to wait for my other friend Charlotte to come before we got ours. So anyway, Charlotte goes first, and she made this Boondock Saints dress out of an oversized t-shirt, and was showing it to him. As he signed it, I joked how he was actually drawing a giant dick on her back, and he said something along the lines of “Just a little one, about eight inches.”
Anyway, so it’s my turn. Before I put it on the table, I tell him this may or may not be one of the weirdest things he’s ever had to sign… and I put the stress boob on the table. Immediately, his eyes bug out, and he’s in awe, and the volunteer working with him bursts into laughter.
Of course, stupid me forgot to record it, BUT I WISH I DID, because he proceeded to squeeze the boob, play with it for awhile, before stuffing it IN HIS SHIRT, RUBBING IT AND TOUCHING IT, and just generally sashaying around. Thebestpart, and the part I STILL DESPERATELY WISH I RECORDED was Norman was signing things to the left, in which Sean, without a word, sauntered over to Norman, who took a look at the boob, bent over, AND BIT THE NIPPLE. I think people were taking photos/video, but I just really hope someone got that on camera.
So as he’s signing it, I ask him if it’s the weirdest thing he’s ever signed. He said no, and said there were much worse things people have asked to sign. I got the impression he wasn’t going to divulge, but he leans in, and whispers about a time where some guy brought him a huge, flaccid, realistic looking dildo with balls and asked him to sign it. Sean told him that it was gross and to get it off the table, haha. But overall, he was really nice, funny, and just SO MUCH PRETTIER IN PERSON.
Then, we proceeded to wait in line for Norman. It wasn’t actually too long, about fifteen to twenty minutes waiting. We thought we learned our lesson so I asked my friend to record for me, but she actually didn’t record it and only got one second… But whatever, I’ll try to jot it down from memory. First and foremost, Norman uses pet names a lot, except some guys say it and it sounds creepy, but he just sounds really affectionate and cute. Literally the first thing he said to me was, ‘Hi sweetheart’ and I just about melted (he also proceeded to call me and my friends ‘sweetie’ and ‘babe’, among other things, the whole time). I had made these really stupid ears (homage to Daryl Dixon’s zombie ear necklace) out of felt and wire. I apologized, saying they came out crappy, and they didn’t really resemble ears, but Norman said he loved them and that it was his favorite ear necklace he had ever gotten (I think he was just being nice because I think they looked DUMB), and the volunteer at the autograph table was saying he probably just liked them because they were furry, and he said yes, because they were furry. Then he INSTRUCTS ME, not asks me, to give him a hug, and I lightly hug him at first, but he literally pulls me into the HARDEST BEAR HUG EVER. He was wearing this corduroy jacket, and it was soft, and he smells like musk and like spicy tobacco, and it’s just… really, really nice and weirdly comforting. HE GIVES REALLY GOOD HUGS, really.
Then, I of course bring up the stress boob, and ask him to sign it, kind of half laughing, half apologizing. He chuckles, since he’s already seen it, and says “It’s okay, I love boobies.” Norman Reedus is literally the only 40+ year old man who can sound ABSOLUTELY FUCKING ADORABLE while proclaiming his love for tits. Anyways, so afterwards my friend Charlotte gets him to sign her dress and we take a picture with him. IT WAS GREAT.
The moral of this story is that Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flanery are perfect and adorable and sweet and they smell good and they’re 493809213x more beautiful in person and give great hugs.
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